Posts

Parent Tips for Reentry Anxiety

Yes, reentry anxiety is a real phenomenon. After enduring 15 months of some form of lockdown, many of us are collectively attempting to shake off the trauma experienced from the COVID-19 pandemic. Over the past year, contact with extended family and friends was limited, leaving many feeling disconnected from typical supports. Working parents experienced the stress of caring for children 24/7, while also juggling the demands of jobs. Many families faced employment loss and financial hardship. Children may have been anxious about the health and safety of parents or grandparents, and some did lose loved ones to illness or death.

Unfortunately, we may not be in the clear, yet. Masking and other restrictions have been lifted in California, but we have yet to understand the impact of the COVID variants, less than stellar vaccine rates and the possibility that even the vaccinated will need a booster shot. Some parents feel anxious about exposing their under-12 children who are not yet eligible for the vaccine.

Ironically, we are such creatures of habit, that, over time, many of us grew accustomed to hiding away at home and may feel unsafe or experience reentry anxiety as we move back to our pre-pandemic routines. Although often resilient, children are also vulnerable to reentry stress. They need adult guidance and support to help negotiate a return to community life. Here are 4 steps parents can take to ease the way for their children and themselves:

  1. Listen reflectively to your child’s concerns and fears, validating feelings rather than jumping to solutions. Try to contain your anxiety to serve as a calming presence for your child. Children look to parents to set the tone.
  2. Take it slowly, gradually resuming activities and helping your child identify what he is looking forward to. Be careful not to push your child too quickly, while at the same time supporting growth and change.
  3. Let children know about new plans. Keeping a family calendar that your child can see may help her visualize the upcoming weeks and ease her stress.
  4. Keep a resilient mindset. Talk about the new ways you learned to spend time together as a family during COVID and what new habits you’d like to keep. Demonstrate curiosity, rather than fear, about any societal changes your children observe post-lockdown.

If you are noticing any unusual behaviors in your child, such as withdrawal, sleep issues, stomach complaints or headaches, don’t hesitate to contact a mental health professional who can help you and your family through this adjustment period.

The Promise of Nutritional Psychiatry

Nutritional Psychiatry is an emerging field exploring the link between diet, brain function, and mental health. In simpler terms, it looks at how the food we eat impacts our emotional state. Current research data points to a healthy diet (ie: lean protein, fish, vegetables, fruit, nuts and whole grains) as prevention and treatment for depression, as well as adjunctive treatment for ADHD. Conversely, unhealthy diets (processed, fatty and sugary foods) are associated with mental health problems in children and adults across nations and cultures.

By now you’ve probably heard of the term “gut-brain” connection. Our bodies house a miraculous, intricate community of different, beneficial bacteria called the human biome. Healthy gut bacteria are responsible for nutritional absorption, as well as immune system support and modulation of the nervous system. What we eat impacts the health of the human biome, and, therefore, the health of our bodies and minds.

Dietary interventions at this early state of nutritional psychiatry research are recommended as complementary treatments that may alleviate mild depression and anxiety or help with ADHD. At this point, diet is not recommended as the anecdote to suicidal ideation or extreme mood issues, but the field holds a lot of promise for breakthroughs to come.

6 Ways to Parent Wisely (Especially with Challenging Kids)

As backed by numerous research studies, your ability to effectively model the following skills for your child will help you strengthen your relationship with him or her:

  1. Manage your difficult emotions. Your ability to identify and reflect on your feelings without acting on them immediately is critical to healthy relationships. When you react impulsively to your negative emotions, you increase the likelihood of saying something to your child that you might later regret. You are also more likely to be punitive, which also ruptures your connection to your child. I’m not suggesting that you absolve your child of responsibility, but I am suggesting that you hold him or her accountable in a thoughtful way.
  2. Appropriately express your emotions. Your capacity to experience, reflect, accurately label and effectively communicate emotions helps your child develop the same capacity. In fact, I think it is accurate to say that one’s ability to process and communicate feelings is fundamental to any healthy relationship.
  3. Listen carefully to your child. Take the time to listen to your child’s feelings and understand his experiences. It is important that you not impose your interpretation of his experience. Try to understand experiences from his perspective. The more time you take to listen to his feelings and help him label these feelings, the better he will become at managing difficult emotions over time.
  4. Problem-solve with your child. When challenging situations arise, it is helpful if you can problem solve with your child about how to address whatever the situation might be. This is how your child develops better problem solving skills. It is particularly helpful when you can anticipate difficult situations and trouble shoot with your child in advance.
  5. Maintain perspective on your child’s development. Brain development and emotional maturity is a process that takes time. While we cannot force the brain to develop any faster than nature will allow, we can remove impediments to brain development and emotional maturation. For example, if your child has poor impulse control, you will not find a punishment that makes him less impulsive. You can, however, identify situations where he is more vulnerable to more impulsive behavior and together come up with strategies for maintaining self control in those situations. In addition, if he does behave impulsively, you can discuss his behavior with him and have him take responsibility for his actions. Keep in mind that the brain’s breaking system responsible for filtering what is said and done will not fully develop until he is between 25 and 30 years of age.
  6. Adjust your expectations of your child and yourself. It is important that you understand your child’s strengths and challenges when setting appropriate expectations. Avoid using, age, grade or comparisons with sibling or peers when deciding on what your child should be able to do. Every child is unique with his own rate of development. There is no formula for setting and maintaining expectations other than listening to your child and trial and error.

 

 

Reconnect this Summer

Summer vacation is the prefect time for you to reconnect with your children. The time spent together deepens the relationship and helps your child develop self regulation skills. This does not have to be a big production planning-wise. Think “simple” by grabbing pockets of time here and there for  mutually enjoyable activities. Take a walk with the dog. Ride bikes. Play a board game. Bake something. Work it around your daily routine. A little goes a long way.

Summer Support

Summer’s a good time to get a little extra support for your learning disabled high schooler. In addition to therapy services, we can pair your teen with a college grad/ mentor who will steer your child toward college readiness. We’ll tailor our program to fit your child’s needs. Some services we offer include:

  • Academic tutoring
  • Help with organization and planning
  • Shoring up life skills and independence
  • Nutrition and exercise regimes

Call or email for more information: Julia@MilestoneMentoring.com  *  Julia Murphy (818) 388-1526

How Genes Unfold

“Genes are rarely about inevitability, especially when it comes to humans, the brain, or behavior. They’re about vulnerability, propensities, tendencies.”

-Robert M. Sapolsky, Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers

 

Thank You International Dyslexia Association, Los Angeles

Thank you to the International Dyslexia Association for putting on such an informative, well run conference this past Saturday, May 2nd, at UCLA. Language and Learning 2015 enlisted a wonderful set of speakers this year, including author/consultant/dyslexia specialist Louisa Moats, Ed. D.; pediatric neurophsychologist Rita Eichenstein, Ph.D.; and Lev Gottlieb, Ph.D., UCLA pediatric neuropsychologist. I am looking forward to next year’s conference!

Teen Stressors

The teen years are typically filled with stress due to the rapid physical, cognitive and emotional changes adolescents undergo. What stresses teens is often different than what stresses adults.

Teen Stressors:

  • Social awkwardness
  • Being bullied
  • Academic pressures
  • Managing an overfilled schedule
  • Self consciousness about physical appearance
  • Peer pressure to use alcohol and drugs
  • Dramatic physical and cognitive changes
  • Family and peer conflict
  • College transition
  • Adapting to greater independence and responsibility

As a parent, you can help your teen manage stress. The best way to approach an anxious teen is to be as calm as possible. The first rule of thumb is to remember to contain your own anxiety. Be open and listen non-judgmentally. Listen more than you speak. Empathy and mirroring feelings can be very reassuring and will help your teen feel that his or her feelings are normal.

At a later time when your teen’s anxiety has passed, you might suggest some positive ways to manage stress like deep breathing, muscle relaxation, breaking down tasks into smaller steps, adequate sleep, exercise and a balanced diet, downtime, and enjoyable activities with friends. Help your teen find opportunities to build his or her unique strengths and deep interests, which will also reduce anxiety and lead to greater self confidence.

Save the Date: Explore Attachment Based Teaching 6/19 + 6/20/2015

As a part of Campbell Hall Summer Institute, Lou Cozolino, Ph.D., Daniel Franklin, Ph.D., and Peter Murphy, Ph.D. will be conducting a 2-day workshop for teachers, clinicians and school administrators: Explore Attachment-Based Teaching.

Tuition is $420.00. Students receive a 50% discount. MFTs and LCSWs receive 14 CEUs, BBS Provider Number PCE 5493.

For more information, please contact Kena Dorsey at (818) 505-5302 or dorseyk@campbellhall.org.

Stress: An Alternative Explanation for Common Learning and Behavioral Challenges

Breakout Session with Dr. Peter Murphy and Dr. Daniel Franklin at the Language and Learning Conference, May 2, 2015 – UCLA Carnesale Commons

Drawing on the latest findings from the fields of social neuroscience, psychology, and education, this presentation will explore the biological mechanisms of stress and identify how stress impacts learning and behavior. In addition, the connection between healthy attachment and stress will be discussed. This presentation will offer specific strategies that parents, teachers, and clinicians can use to mitigate stress-related learning and behavioral challenges.

Conference registration online at www.DyslexiaLA.org/events